bulking/cutting issues

I don't think I will ever be happy with how I look no matter how cut or thick I get.  Yet, I find the build above fairly attractive.  Why can''t I cut myself the same slack?

Life is unfair.

Formerly tipping the scales at 360 pounds and now down to a svelt 200, Glaud’s transformation is impressive. And while he’s proud of how far he’s come, he still harbors insecurities about his weight loss, which is not uncommon among those who have shed a significant amount of weight. Specifically, he says, he’s feels awkward about the pounds of loose skin hanging all over his body — remnants of his larger days.

For more inspiring words from John David Glaud that will help anyone overcoming their own insecurities go here.  

To shave? Or not to shave?

The debate rages on.

Seminal moments in bulking

I just purchased several pairs of  36" waist size pants.  It was reaching that size that convinced me to start lifting weights and working out over a decade ago.  Luckily I'm fine with the fact.  At the moment it's mostly quad and glute size that are preventing a 34 inch waist size from closing.  Form wise my chest is still bigger than my gut so emotionally I'm ok with it.  I'm just not happy having to spend the extra money on pants I won't be wearing long.  Would that I could wear sweats to work.

And no,  I'm not going this route:

Nor this

Unclear on the concept

And here I am thinking I'm physically no where near close enough to get on stage.

What time is it boys and girls?

It's the onset of winter and that means it's bulking season here in gym land, particularly in the weight lifting camp.  As I've mentioned before every winter I up my calorie intake and cut my cardio to see how much weight I can put on and hopefully convert to muscle mass.

While the additional food intake is fun, at first. (why hello again Smart Food!) after a while it becomes a monotonous chore, more food carry around and more to consume. While, not getting into many specifics more food means more output. Avoid bulking bodybuilders in small spaces.  just sayin'.

Add to that the emotional toll and fatigue of  carrying the extra weight on what was just a few months ago, my compact firm frame, last winter I was up to 193lbs (at 5'6" I felt I had reached Mr. 5 by 5 status) and  I am not perky and bounc,y but cranky and irritable. Think PMS.  And don't get me started on having to buy all new pants yet again!

Still, I must say I prefer a guy with a little bulk on him, as in the prime example below. I''ve never been as attracted to washboard abs as to someone with a little beef on his bones.  Let's hope other's are feeling the same way over the next few months.

Weight Gain Cycle

 

Hello additional servings of carbs and two more meals per day (topping off at  8) and good by to Summer's 29" waist.  Yes, it's time for a little bulking phase.  Actually it's time for long bulking phase.  For the first time since I started weightlifting I'm going on an extended weight gain cycle of three months rather than the usual four to six weeks.  I"m looking to put on some size by spring and am willing to make the sacrifice.  

Fair warning, . be prepared for some morose self-pitying posts, I am never happy when I put on additional pounds.  Be it from splitting my pants in public(3 times) or  having to buy a complete new wardrobe mid season due to changes in size (twice).  Still I'm determined to make it worth the sacrifice. Were looking at a show date in Spring and I need the additional muscle mass to make a showing  

On a plus note,  I now get to eat baked goods again!  Tomorrow I am starting the day with breakfast buns.

Temporarily derailed

Alas, the best laid plans of gang aft agley, my training regimen for being onstage by October has hit a snag, two snags actually in the form of two bulging discs(L4 & L5) one of which is pinching a nerve in my left leg.  It's made it impossible to walk for the past few weeks and I''m  able to move now thanks to an aforementioned steroid injection, now to be followed up by six weeks of physical therapy with little to no chance of cardio or leg workouts.

In a an attempt to make lemonade out of bitterly acquired, and unwanted lemons, My trainer and I have decided to put me on a weight gain cycle.  It makes sense, no cardio & reduced mobility means I will put on a bit of weight anyway. I've been wanting to build my upper body size, and since I can only work upper body, we will focus on converting that body fat into more muscle tissue through  heavy lifting and failure sets.

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This will entail adding an additional 1000 calories per day into my diet, all from carbs and unsaturated fats.  This will mean a wider waist and a wider everything.  I will be breaking out my "fat" pants when I normally would be gearing up for cutting phase and bathing suit shopping(Weight gain phases are normally done in winter) UGH!

I know it makes sense, and I know it 's the best thing to do but I am so NOT HAPPY with this situation. WHINE WHINE WHINE, yes I know that most of the population has real and worse problems, but it's my blog and where else am I going to complain?  I only hope it doesn't impact my time line for competing in the Fall.

Baby it's cold outside!

The cold saga appears to be over and I get to go back to the gym today! Or, more likely I am forcing myself back in early as per usual due to body issues. Four days off and I am sure that I am sure that my weight has ballooned up. My muscles have atrophied and now no one will ever love me.

Yes I know I am dancing on a landmine of issues here but as I am broke form all the housing renovations professional help is financially out of my grasp. I am hoping a kind psychologist will start reading the blog and commenting……