Killer Biker Chicks

Today's gaggle of spam messages included the following:

Headline: "Search and rate hot biker girls in your area."

Hey dudes. What do you think of the hot biker girl? You can join and search biker girls for love thing.

All of which causes em to ponder the following:

1. Dudes?
2. The obvious, don't they target their audience? I don't want to look at biker girls, let alone rate. What if I piss one of them off with my ratings scale. Actually I'm kinda afraid of biker chicks.
3. Love thing?

Period Delayed?????

Ummmm, is it just me or is Aunt Ida there, crying over the long ago memory of her period, let alone a recently delayed one.......

AS ALWAYS!!!! PACKED IN A CONFIDENTIAL BOX!!!!!

Hoarder Joy!!!!

Okay, so I am still speeding full throttle towards broke thanks to all the renovations, BUT, today offered a bright spot. The upright freezer was delivered and installed in the basement this week.

This morning Peapod delivered 120 lbs of Chicken breast(Yes you read that right, and actually I'm sorry I didn't order more!!!)

I am now able to buy in bulk and cook and freeze portioned meals waaaaaay in advance. In fact all of the left over "chicken Soup" from this week's diet phase will now be portioned and frozen for the next round in a few months.

And as if to ice the cake, the delivery guy was the same cutie who usually works Saturday mornings! I've got to start answering the door in a negligee.......

A little perspective

November 1913. Huntsville, Alabama. "Pete Henson, 414 C Street. Mother said he was 12 two months ago, but has been sweeping in the Merrimack Mill for seven months, so he began at 11 years. Brother Edward said to be 13 years, but doubtful. Mother said they had no Family Record here and gave me ages from memory." Photograph and caption by Lewis Wickes Hine.

Okay, I am going to stop whining about what I perceive to be my major financial woes now......

Start quoting him now!

I've been recataloging our Shakespeare collection for the past few weeks. As a result I've had "Brush Up On Your Shakespeare" running through my head incessantly. Ods Bodkins!

Drunk????

I don't know about you a ll, but even the worst of my hangovers disappear after a few hours, let alone five days!

May be used secretly for Whiskey, Wine, Beer, Gin???

Soberin Aids Co.????

LILY TOMLIN for G-R-R-R-R Laundry Detergent

I think I'd find working less dull....

if I worked with Mrs. Slocombe!

Speaking of X-ray specs!

X - aka Man with the X-Ray Eyes (Roger Corman, starring an aging Ray Mill along with Don rickles, 1963)

A little blast form the past

From the back of pretty much every comic book I ever read as a kid. Yes it's Sea Monkeys!, Oddly shaped, disturbingly nude and gender stereotyped and destined to be the first tragic lesson in false advertising to many a youth. I especially like the text "So eager to please - they can even be "trained" I gotta get me an adult human male like that.

It's that time again......

For those who have been following the diet saga, I am sure you'll be enthralled to find out I'm back on chicken vegetable soup and nothing but chicken vegetable soup for the next week. We took measurements at the gym today. Let's just say while chest and shoulder size increased so has my body fat percentage. Oh well I know where it came from and I know hope to get rid of it, it's just the doing of such that doesn't provide much in the line of joy.

My problems are solved! I have a "winining lottry" ticket

At first I thought I had won wine BUT NO!!!!

According to :

AFROSEAS / ASIA EURO STAKES LOTTERYINTERNATIONAL LOTTERY AND FREE LOTTO ORGANISATIONS.A SUBSIDIARY OF WANADO , SPAIN .OFFICE: 8-10, STRAUSE AV, PLOT: 328 ESTONIA .
REF NUMBER: OSL/653/029/03
BATCH NUMBER: AT-040-SB06-03

I have won:

We are pleased to inform you that as a result of our recent lottery draw held on 21st of December 2008. Your email address attached to ticket number27522465896-532 with serial number 652-662 drew lucky number 7-14-18-23-31-45 which consequently won 2nd category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$3,000,000.00 (UNITED STATES DOLLARS)

Note: ALL participants in this lottery program have been selected randomly through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual email addresses from all search engines and web sites. This promotional program takes place every year, and is promoted and sponsored by eminent personalities like the sultan of Brunei, Bill Gates Of Microsoft Inc, Multi Choice, china site and other corporate organizations.

This is to encourage the use of the Internet and computers worldwide. For security purpose and clarity, we advise that you keep your winning information’s confidential until your claims have been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claims and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. We look forward to your active participation in our next year USD50 Million slot. You are requested to contact our clearance officer below to assist you with your winning and subsequent payments.

All winnings must be claimed not later than one month after the date of this notice. Please note: In order to avoid unnecessary delay and complications remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of addresses do inform our agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once more and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

NOTE; YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED IF YOU ARE BELOW 20 YEARS OF AGE, AND YOUR RESPONSE SHOULD GO TO MY ALTERNATIVE EMAIL BELOW

Sincerely YoursNAME: Luis FabregasEMAIL: info.lottory2009@gmail.com

I am so glad they held this lottery to encourage the use of computers and the interent worldwide, it's so much more effect than using porn as an impetus! And Look I won!!! And since I can't keep a secret to save my life I am disregarding their instructions to keep this news under wraps until they disperse my moolah!!!!!! I am SURE Mr. Fabregas won't mind!!!!!!

Well, I'm off to quit my job and buy first class tickets to all the countries of the world in alphabetical order. THANK YOU mysterious foreign lottery that I've never heard of before!!!!!!!!

Back to work!

Well Christmas vacation ended today and I am back at my desk which is all well and good. I do not deal well with having too much free time on my hands. Maybe it's the Virgo in me, but I need to be constantly busy or at least escaping a busy workload to make my relaxation time actually relaxing.

Construction in the basement is still going on despite the December 20th deadline so all my vacation plans of moving furniture and all the $%^#**&@ piles of books that are crowding my kitchen, living room and dining room back down into the newly renovated basement could not happen.

This also means I could not start advertisng for roomates as the house is still too much of a mess to show anyone with the hope of enticing them to live there. Add to this the new economic worries that everyone seems to be facing, mounting reconstruction bills and no new money coming in, is it any wonder that I actually looked forward to returning to my desk and eight hours of cataloging rather than sit in my living room watching the rubble that was my home life get coverd in still more plaster dust?

Well, the holidays are finally over....

I am fat, I am broke, I am so worried about surviving economically in the next year that I am back to fighting insomnia.

But things could always be worse! I ain't in as bad a place as Mr. Simpson......

Happy New Year!

To one and all here's wishing you health wealth, peace and bliss!

As 2008 closes I am grateful for so m any things. Number one being finally rid of a certain someone who made my life a living hell for far too long. Number two is the strength I found and kept though all the friends and family who gave me strength and support over the past few years of tribulation! Number three Bush will no longer be in office (bet you thought I was referring to him in number one!) Number four is Fabulon's still going strong! And, Number Five is all the fun I've had posting on and meeting people though the Blogosphere!

"Be they few, or be they far,

Would I were where my people are!"

* "The Lost Tribe" Ruth Pitter

Merry Christmas!

In the spirit of the seaon, and at a time when we so need good will towards men. Happy Holidays one and all!

Tagged

Uneasy thanks to TJB.

I've been inducted into a gam of tag. The rules are as follows:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. 2. Post the rules on your blog. 3. Write six random things about yourself. 4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. 5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. 6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. I never lie about my age and disapprove of those who do.
2. I will take an ice cold glass of gin and blissful solitude at a bar over ininteresting company ALWAYS
3. I am truly starting to believe that I need a man in my life, like a fish needs a bicycle.
4. Despite number 3, I might not say no.
5. But I probably will, I am my own worst enemy.
6. I am a bit of a loner and thus am not sure I know five other people on blogger who may not already been tagged

But I will try http://troublespots.wordpress.com/ & http://web.mac.com/kajcronin/iWeb/Site/401a/401a.html

Somebody stop me!

So the Library has just exchanged Christmas presents this morning and my office mate has given me a bag of Nonpareils which I have already half consumed and we've barely reached eight -thirty in the morning. Add to this a school wide Christmas party this afternoon and then a bartending gig at some company's Christmas party this evening, I have a feeling that there is going to be an awful lot more of me to love come this Christmas!

And maybe YOU can star with him!!!!!!

That's right, if you're a girl between 10 and 14, then this rather built, but suprisingly flat in a certain area, spandex clad, singing, dancing grown man is looking for you to play his "special friend".

Now if it were Reb Brown casting the audition I might consider it........

Merry "new-economy" Christmas

Akron -- A Sheriff's deputy frisks Santa Claus, John Kaufman, 30, after he was arrested Tuesday for allededly assaulting a jeweler who objected to his method of soliciting contributions. Kaufman, who was booked on assault charges, was in charge of a group of three Santas from the Cleveland Temple of Hare Krishna who were soliciting contributions in an aggressive manner, according to police reports. (1978)

I am pondering soliciting contributions to the ilduce fund in "an aggressive manner" but secretly hoping for better results.

via: If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger,<br>There'd Be a Whole Lot of Dead Copycats

Glenn Miller -- I've got a Gal in Kalamazoo

It was 64 years ago today, December 15th, when Major Glenn Miller disappeared on a flight over the English Channel. He was on his way to oversee accommodations for his Band of the Allied Expeditionary Force in Paris, where they would give a special concert for Allied troops on Christmas
Day. They followed him across the Channel a few days later.

Guy Williams - Orginal Screen Test

I soooo definitely would.....

Keeping up appearances

Original Caption:Newark -- Mrs. Laura Bell Devlin, 72, who murdered her 75-year-old husband, Thomas Devlin, then dismembered his body with a hacksaw and scattered the parts in the backyard, today professed her dislike for jail. She protested vehemently when officials tried to fingerprint her saying "that ink will make my hands dirty," and again when she was placed before the camera, "No," she asserted. She kept repeating "Can I go home now?', unmoved and in no way penitent for the alleged crime. (1947)

What I find the most spooky aspect of this photo is how much she reminds me of the countless sweet elderly neighbors who lived on our street growing up. They bought chocolate bars and Christmas wrap from me whenever a fund raiser appeal came about, handed out candy on Halloween and helped me earn money by letting em mow their lawns. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors???

via: If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger,<br>There'd Be a Whole Lot of Dead Copycats

T'is the season....

to be overworked and under paid! Three days straight of working double shifts, running from library to bartending has left me bereft of sleep, clean laundry and more irksome, tips. I spent Saturday evening schlepping martinis for a swarm of lawyers all boasting about travel and real estate plans, but none of them evidently cash viable enough to leave a tip.

It takes a special kind of confidence to spend an evening telling a bartender how glad you are he’s here and how wonderful he is and then to stiff him completely all the while continuing to drink any concoction that he’s mixed for you….

Next time I’m on this gig I am pocketing some sterling salad forks…..

Catwoman's Dressed To Kill

While I didn't know the full meaning of the word camp as wee child, I did realize that the Batman series, and this scene in particular brought whatever camp was to new levels. If only for the classic lament:

No! Not our hair! Anything but that!

Bettie Page dies at 85

Alas, yet another vanishing icon....

Via: Los Angeles Times

Christmas Shopping

I plan to do all my Christmas shopping from the "chap" book this year. Starting with:

Yet another reason I won't shop at Urban Outfitters!

Besides MY personal dislike for all their clothing, I recently found out that shopping there supports Proposition 8 and other extreme religious right causes! See:

I Support Support Shirts at BradWalsh.com

Is it just me?

There is a story in the Boston Globe today about the disturbing rise of nude photos being taken, or allowed to be taken, by high school student and sent by cell phone to cell phone eventually ending up on the internet. This past weekend on a catering job a fellow employee insisted on showing me nude photos of himself in various phases of “excitement” despite my protests that I really did not want to see such. A while back my interest/respect for someone I was just starting to date evaporated when he announced that he put on a live sex show every night via a webcam.

Now I know that I am MORE than just a bit of a prude, twelve years f Catholic school will do that to you but, what the hell is going on??? When did everyone decide that everyone else on the planet really wanted to see them I the nude??? Let me state clearly that I am SO not against porn, but at least the people who do that professionally have done a few sit ups before hand. It’s actually makes for enjoyable viewing!

What I am having trouble understanding is the belief by every average Joe that he is nude photo worthy. Nor can I wrap my mind around the naive, read: INSANELY STUPID, belief that these photos which include their face and all identifying birth marks, will remain safe and hidden rather then eventually end up on the net or somewhere in cyberspace, so they an be easily retrieved when it comes time to interview for a job, or security clearance or run for office.

Am I the only one who feels this way?????

caffeine withdrawn mind wanderings

The problem of working out of town, in the middle of suburbia, on a campus surrounded by wetlands, is that you are cut off from everything the entire eight hours you are on campus. Every errand becomes a chore involving getting your car and driving off campus.

This morning I wanted coffee and I wanted it BAD, in the way only a true addict can crave his or her caffeine fix. Now do we provide coffee on campus? Yes. Is it palatable or even drinkable, NO! Do I own a car? No. Is there a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts anywhere less than a mile and a half away? NO! You see how the universe is against me.

If I worked in Dick Van Dyke’s office, not only would I have the benefit of working all day with the likes of Buddy and Sally wisecracking it up, (not to mention being located in New York !!!!) But at any given moment I could simply call downstairs and have the coffee shop send up coffee and danish all delivered by an extra in need of a walk on role.

The only thing I could get by calling downstairs right now is one of the tutors from the skills center.

Isn't it always the way....

1909. "Mme. Diss-DeBarr," a.k.a. "the noted and notorious Ann O'Delia Dis Debar, of many aliases, a number of husbands and several prison terms," according to a 1909 article in the New York Times. The headline calls her an "ex-priestess of fake spiritualism." 8x10 glass negative, George Grantham Bain.

As if the money wasn't enough, Mme. Diss-DeBarr and her (then)husband Frank were also arrested in Birkenhead, England in September 1901, and charged with obtaining property by false pretences, rape and buggery. The later charges seem to have arisen from sexual practices at their temple in London. The couple defended themselves, but the Swami was sentenced to 7 years imprisonment, and her husband to 15 years

via: Shorpy

Room without a view

So they are currently tearing up the green around the library for construction of a new science building. Trailers have been delivered and fences are going up which will mean that we are going to be deprived of our grand view of the campus for the next year and a half. What the hell am I going to gaze at while I daydream at my desk?

Hopefully the construction workers will offer a bit of eye candy.

Condoleezza Rice Speech ala' MAD TV

Get some!

Mine!!

While the dessert appeals to my diet sense I think the real reason I'll end up serving this recipe is that I actually own the tea set pictured here. Inherited from a favorite maiden Aunt many years ago, it's been sitting unused in my china closet like so many other pieces I've acquired/inherited and never use. I tell you, working in the catering field really saps your enthusiasm to entertain on your own time.

So quit your belly aching.........

Nothing hides the pain of P.M.S. like patriotism!

Nell Carter sings "Get some cash for your trash"

There are days when this particular song will creep into my cranium and play itself endlessly. Fortunately it's always Miss Carter singing it!

Guess which size sold out

I wonder how they insure accuracy, cuz you know them bitches is lying......