Well I am done with my latest round of soup as of today and while it did the trick, I am down five lbs (thanks less to the soup regimen and more to the fact that I'm no longer lying on my couch ever damn day of Christmas break with a pile of DVDs and a bag of peanut butter m&ms, but I digress…) I am stuck facing another dilemma.
A victim of my own success, I’ve spent the last three years doing enough squats, leg presses and lungs to create quite the massive set of thighs and caboose. Since I didn’t gain enough weight over the holidays to prevent my usual waist size from fitting, the “bigger” problem is facing the fact the fact that no 29 inch waist will fit up and over the coasts of my lower continent. And as long as I am complaining/boasting my shirts and sweaters are too tight, pulling and stretching over the shoulders and chest, and will not button at the neck!
I used to disdain all the muscle jocks that strutted around in drawstring, or worse, Velcro closed work out pants and definitely do not want to go that route. Nor can I really afford to buy an entire new wardrobe and then have to tailor all the waist sizes down as well.
While I don’t expect much sympathy on this, the few friends I’ve complained to have made it very clear that it is not sympathy worthy problem, I would like some help. What I need is for someone to nominate me for “What Not To Wear” The $5000 loaded Visa would go along way towards buying new pants
8 comments:
Oh, darling. I say a jeweled jockstrap and matching turban would solve all your problems.
With a little genie vest?
A kilt would do the trick!
C'mon, il duce...I can totally see you bringing back the MC Hammer look...u can't touch this!
I'm with tjb.
And a jeweled jockstrap would probably solve all the problems of the world today
I fear that anything "jeweled" would require more of a commitment to manscaping than I am willing to make.
And Norma, thanks, but no one is touching it already.......
Um... are you 'backdoor bragging'? HOT!
No, in all honesty I was mostly complaining about having to buy new pants! Money’s getting tight and no matter how much junk I’ve added to it, my trunk isn’t bringing in any cash flow!
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