BUONA PASQUA A TUTTI

Happy Easter everybody!

Let's hope Spring brings a little fulfilled hopes along with Spring Fever!

For Jason

"Yoiks...and away!!!

And a good time was had by all......

this past Saturday evening was spent on a jolly spree. Well maybe jolly is overreaching, but imbibing was done. I found myself free and downtown late in the day with a distinct loathing to return home as normal. Having spent more than enough nights reclining on my davenport with a cable control close at hand, I opted to step out for a drink. Alas a series of quick calls through my cell phone's contacts list proved that I was to be drinking alone. To make it interesting I adapted the following game plan: I would visit a bar and leave only when I became annoyed by whatever company I encountered.

Bar One: Perfectly fine atmosphere, recently remodeled, (not quite finished) good natural light, unfortunately I was saddled with a bartender possessing all the people skills of a box of hair. Moreover, my presence seemed to irritate him as my ordering drinks and his having to serve them forced him three feet away from his boyfriend(also sitting at the bar) I opted to take my tip money elsewhere....


Bar two: Small neighborhood joint, I know the bartender from the gym. Within two minutes of striking up conversation, the patron on my left confesses to attending smokers anonymous, alcoholic's anonymous, survivors of incest anonymous and codependent's anonymous. Ummm, I left.

Bar Three: Upscale, great lighting, good bartenders, all incorporated into the high prices of the drinks. In the middle of my first glass of Shiraz a woman walks in takes in the crowd at the bar, takes in me sitting there as well, takes in the bartender, when all eyes are on her in return she disdainfully picks up a cocktail napkin and honks her nose long and hard enough to signal ships at sea. the bartenders look askance, the crowd stuck waiting for tables cringes and I finish my Shiraz as quickly as possible since "Madame" is now sitting next to me.

Bar Four: My usual drinking hole. THE END, We're two gin & tonics and two glasses of Shiraz in at this point and it did not end there.

Think! Have you ever seen them together at the same time?

Even more disturbing, shoot your brother, then later send a mail bomb and the University of Alabama will hire you with benefits. Meanwhile I'm STILL unemployed????

My name is Barbra

so I'm on a retro game show kick. There are worse things......

The Famous Stroganoff on "To Tell The Truth"

And of course Kitty Carlisle Hart was impeccably correct in removing the morsel from her mouth with her fork, rather than the much more common and vulgar "spit take"....

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Enjoy some pancakes for dinner. They become guilt free when they're traditional!!!!!

Happy Valentines Day!

There was a time in my life that I would have liked to kiss him.....

Ninety Nine

Captain Kangaroo-Dancing Bear

Does anyone else remember the Dancing Bear from Captain Kangaroo? for some reason he's been popping into my mind lately. 

Maybe it's my yearning for the simpler times of my youth.....

"Oh, don't let it bother you LITTLE boy!

So, we were all working in the cafe the other night when I made the offer to train a few of my co-workers. The new chef who is transitioning from female to male has decided to take advantage of the all the hormones he's taking and bulk up. (Yes, this the crowd I know work with). I made the offer to train our new dishwasher as well and he promptly refused. I immediately asked if he wanted to spend the rest of his life getting sand kicked in his face whenever he went to the beach. He looked at me blankly in reply.

Yes I am old and I work with an increasingly younger crowd. It seems neither cook nor dishwasher, knew of, had heard of or seen the old standard comic book ad for Charles Atlas' workout program.

Our line cook however being my age did remember it and pointed out that it no longer played. Today if you kicked sand in someone's face they would pull out a gun and shoot you. to hell with going home and feeling bad about yourself.....

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HELEN? (1971)

Through the magic of Netflix I had a privsate showing of a Shelly Winters double feature last night. (shut up! I knowI! Yes that's how I spent my Saturday night!) First up was "What's the matter with helen?" A move I'd heard about though the now sadly defunc site "Dewey Webb Page Confidential.

Made almost 10 years later and perhaps only following the trail of "whatever happened to Baby Jane?", rather than jumping on it's bandwagon. Set in the 1930's, "What's the matter with Helen?" stars Shelly Winters and Debbie Reynolds as two the Midwestern mothers of two Leopold and Loeb--like murderers who flee their unwanted notoriety and move to Hollywood, and open a dancing school for would-be Shirley Temples seeking to break into the movies. Adelle falls in love with a Texas millionaire, (Dennis Weaver) but Helen turns to an evangelist Agnes Moorehead, no less!)and gradually goes off the deep end. Soon corpses of all kinds start piling up.

Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? 1971

Last night's second film featuring Miss Winters was "Whoever Slew Auntie Rue?" A film I watched on TV as a child and was brought to mind my a mention in one of her autobiographies. It's basically a rewrite of Hansel (Mark Lester of "Oliver" fame)and Gretel.

What I remembered most form my childhood viewing was the fantastic house and sets of "Forrest Grange" in particular the "gingerbread'(get it?) Victorian shingling.

Goodnight Irene-Leadbelly

Another weekend comes to a close.........

And trust me you WILL regret it....

"Your funeral director renders an essential service" Cuz nob0ody likes a rotting corpse......

Step 1. apply stench. Step 2. start beating women off

When do I start wearing low V-necks and gold chains?

And for men....

We also offer the penis cup, now you can have that sensual no-cup-look while wearing a cup.

Sound advice!

In fact it's my traditional News Year's Resolution......

It's that time of year again......

Even if it is against my will.....

It's chicken soup time! Yes, for those of you that follow my little meanderings here you might remember mention this diet/cutting phase in the past.

Alas not exactly my decision this time, the choice is being thrust upon me at this juncture. Being healthily eupeptic I put on more than my share of holiday weight last month, of course the weight plate toe injury taking me out of cardio didn't much help! Even more distressing, I've been ordered to stop lifting heavy weights for a while by my physical therapist. It seems my shoulders aren't happy in having to cooperate in lifting my body weight over my head.

All these ill stars aligning have deigned that I might as well go on a cutting phase, i.e reduce carbs, increase cardio(now that my toes are healed) and redirect my workouts to lighter weights and longer reps to tone. This would be all well and good in March or April when I usually start to prep for bathing suit season. where/how in hell am I going to show of my bathing suit form in February in the middle of New England?

GAAAAH!!!!

Have mercy! I'd certainly spring for some clothes to cover that up!

From your concerned friends at the Puritan publishing company.

"Imparts in a clear "wholesome" way in one volume!"

Whatta ya hear from Gorsha?

Yet another night of slinging hash and flirting for tips. If anyone had ever told me that this was how I would be spending my forties....

Escape from Cabin Fever

This was one of my favorite books as a middle reader. I remember reading it several times over, mainly sitting in my Aunt Mary's kitchen in the recliner she kept there reading and dreaming of running away just like Tony and Tia(yes I know running away seems to be a recurring them, see previous post, but lordy East Boston was DULL back in the day and I was cursed with a little something called imagination or hankering for adventure.

Mainly I was  impressed that Tony and Tia had cash and could purchase tickets to go somewhere. Cash was a commodity sorely lacking in my childhood pockets. Years later when reading "Catcher in the Rye" I kept wondering what old Holden was doing complaining about anything when he could afford a weekend in New York city all on his own. But I digress....


We are in the midst of a three day snow storm cycle here in Boston and I an going stir crazy. Not having my copy of "Escape to Witch Mountain" to peruse, I decided to watch the new film sequel on TV.


Not a good idea, I had to give up within a half hour. Not even Dwayne Johnson's acting "talents" could save the film for me.

Alas back to the boredom of cabin fever.

James At 15

I'd completely forgotten about this series until it popped out of my subconscious while trying to sleep last night. I think i identified more with the movie from which this series is based on. In the movie James ran away from Boston and his family trying to return to Oregon and his former girlfriend, along the way teaming up with Kate Jackson on the open road.

Let's be honest it was the idea of running away from Boston(where I grew up with my avoidable family) and getting to do so with Kate Jackson that I found most appealing....

Bork! Bork! Bork!

Yes treat those toes tenderly....

That's my New Years resolution for 2010, especially in light of recent developments. I managed to drop a 45lb plate on Both by big toes while working at the gym two weeks ago and am STILL recovering. Luckily nothing was broken but Lordy it ain't fun walking let alone trying to attempt any type of cardio!

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Let's all hope that next year all of our troubles really will be out of sight.

In the mean time, you all try and enjoy yourselves, you hear me ?!

It's becoming a Christmas tradition!

The Honey Bees You Need Us

See what runs through your mind when your laid up for a few days....

I got a gal, she's an eskimo.....

But is she cold, oh no no no......

This winter, be prepared!!!!!

And don't forget your safety word..........

Damn!!!

Why didn't some oen tell me!!!! No wonder I've had no luck at interview after interview! My economic ass could have been saved by kiwi shoe polish. Guess I really don't k now shit from shinola*

* Bonus points for those of you that get that reference!

Who it is!!!!

Our latest mystery photo above is none other than Jo Anne Worley of "Laugh In" fame, sans her feather boa and trademark beehive coiffure. This photo of Jo Anne Worley comes from the 1955 Lowellian, her high school year book where she was listed as "School Comedienne."

Remember it's Jo Anne Worley's world, we just live in it.

Stop It!!

Thanks!

Every year I make cranberry bread for Thanksgiving, specifically "Grandma's famous cranberry bread" from the above treasured book of my youth Cranberry Thanksgiving by Wendy and harry Devlin.

This year, while gathering all the ingredients and mixing them up I paused to gather a few blessings to be tha thankful for:

1.) I am grateful for my health, complete use of limbs and mind! Sadly, so many people in this world don't have even that.
2.) I am grateful for all the people in my life who see me through, friends, family, online readers/posters, any kind soul who stopped to drop a kind word, every little bit has helped!
3.) I am grateful that I've been able to keep my head above water(thus far!) in this economy, although check on this one next year to see if it's still holding!
4.) I'm grateful I live in a country that has such a high comfortable standard of living. let's not forget even the poorest of the poor here in the US have it better than a great deal fo the population elsewhere on the planet. I bitch and moan when my water isn't hot enough!!! How many human beings on this planet have no home, let alone running water and/or a toilet!

And I'm grateful for continuity and tradition in my life. For those of you that would like to try a little cranberry bread, I am glad to share the recipe:

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ cup butter, softened
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 teaspoon grated orange rind
• ¾ cup orange juice
• 1 ½ cup raisins (steeped in boiling water for 5 minutes, discard water)
• 1 ½ cups fresh or frozen cranberries, chopped
• ½ cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Cooking Instructions

1. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and baking soda into a large bowl.
2. Cut in butter until mixture is crumbly
3. Add egg, orange juice, and orange peel all at once; stir until mixture is just moisr.
4. Fold in cranberries and nuts.
5. Spoon into a greased an lightly floured 9 x 5 x 3 inch loaf pan.
6. Bake at 350 degrees fahrenheit for one hour and ten minutes.
7. Insert a toothpick into the center of the loaf. If it comes out clean, the bread is done. If not, bake for another 15 minutes.
8. Remove from pan; cool on a wire rack.
9. If you choose, you may eliminate the raisins and increase the amount of cranberries by 1 ½ cups.

Blansky's Beauties

So Blackjack the dog got billing above all the other actresses????

Guess who!