And a good time was had by all......

this past Saturday evening was spent on a jolly spree. Well maybe jolly is overreaching, but imbibing was done. I found myself free and downtown late in the day with a distinct loathing to return home as normal. Having spent more than enough nights reclining on my davenport with a cable control close at hand, I opted to step out for a drink. Alas a series of quick calls through my cell phone's contacts list proved that I was to be drinking alone. To make it interesting I adapted the following game plan: I would visit a bar and leave only when I became annoyed by whatever company I encountered.

Bar One: Perfectly fine atmosphere, recently remodeled, (not quite finished) good natural light, unfortunately I was saddled with a bartender possessing all the people skills of a box of hair. Moreover, my presence seemed to irritate him as my ordering drinks and his having to serve them forced him three feet away from his boyfriend(also sitting at the bar) I opted to take my tip money elsewhere....


Bar two: Small neighborhood joint, I know the bartender from the gym. Within two minutes of striking up conversation, the patron on my left confesses to attending smokers anonymous, alcoholic's anonymous, survivors of incest anonymous and codependent's anonymous. Ummm, I left.

Bar Three: Upscale, great lighting, good bartenders, all incorporated into the high prices of the drinks. In the middle of my first glass of Shiraz a woman walks in takes in the crowd at the bar, takes in me sitting there as well, takes in the bartender, when all eyes are on her in return she disdainfully picks up a cocktail napkin and honks her nose long and hard enough to signal ships at sea. the bartenders look askance, the crowd stuck waiting for tables cringes and I finish my Shiraz as quickly as possible since "Madame" is now sitting next to me.

Bar Four: My usual drinking hole. THE END, We're two gin & tonics and two glasses of Shiraz in at this point and it did not end there.